Accused of Stealing

My son was accused of stealing when he was actually doing quite the opposite. Here’s a story about where doubt and fear—and where it’ll lead your mind.

Tell me, do you lean toward doubt and fear?

Or do you automatically think the best of every person and situation?

Let me tell you a story…

September 5, 2020 -

We spent a very lovely four days camping, swimming and paddle boarding at one of our favorite campgrounds in Oregon.

Our boys had a blast, of course, and became quite skilled at maneuvering the paddle board, even on their own.

We staked out a spot near the water to chat with a friend while our kids dug trenches in the sand and paddled around nearby.

To our right, a large group of several families was set up with allll the camping things: boat, wakeboards, floats, pop-up tents, chairs, tables, music, food…the whole shebang.

Although courteous, we mostly left each other alone and existed in our own spheres…until Caleb noticed one of their multi-person floats drifting away.

Having taken a break from the water, no one from their crew had seen the float take off in the wind and waves.

“There was no question in Caleb’s mind about what he needed to do.”

There was no question in Caleb’s mind about what he needed to do. With his life jacket already on, he grabbed the board and paddled off after the runaway float.

I watched with pride at his willingness to help recover a stranger’s property.

“How’s he gonna bring that big float back?” I asked.

“He’s smart. He’ll figure it out,” Jon answered. Because Jon already knew and believed in the abilities of his nearly eight year old son.

Sure enough.

Caleb figured out how to tow the float using the paddle board’s ankle leash. #smartkid #thatsmyboy

Buuut. Out came the girl gang.

“Mom! That kid’s STEALING our FLOAT!
He’s taking our float!”

“Mom! That kid’s STEALING our float! He’s taking our float!”

The tween girl group stood onshore with mom, peering at Caleb. On hyper alert, they gaped at the audacity of this kid who would dare steal their float.

More murmuring. More “he’s stealing it!”

I called over to them, “He’s not stealing it. He saw it floating away and went out to get it for you.”

Still unsure, they watched his every move as he steadily paddled closer.

Once near shore, he hopped off, unhooked the ankle leash from their float and pushed it toward them.

The gaggle of girls came swarming over with quite the chorus of praise and thank yous.

“Oh my god, thank you so much!”

“Yeah! Thank you! Thank you!”

“I don’t know what I would’ve done! Thank you!”

Psh. Don’t know what you would’ve done, eh?

You would’ve stood onshore and slandered my son to everyone around is what you would’ve done.

I was so amazed at their sudden change of heart that I didn’t get a video of their praise. I did, however, get a short video where one girl turned around for one last thank you as all the girls took hold of the float to bring it back. I appreciated her mindfulness.

***

This short interaction gave me food for thought: How often is our first instinct doubt and fear?

“Mom! That kid’s stealing our float!”

The girl doubted Caleb’s intentions. She feared he was trying to steal her float.

Her doubt and fear were completely opposite of what he was actually doing:

1) Bringing the float back - not stealing.

2) Helping - not hurting.

Why was her first instinct to think he was stealing her float? Do we live in a world where there’s more stealing than returning? More hurting than helping?

I have so many questions.

Has the world trained us toward negativity? Or is it that we don’t want to see the good? Or can’t see the good because we’ve been burned too many times?

Is our first impulse to believe that someone’s out to get us? To harm us?

Why do we think something bad is about to happen?

Are we thinking the best of someone? Or do we quickly place them in the “not-so-great” pile?

Are we misreading people?

Are we coloring their intentions in a negative light?

Image by Anna Dziubinska via Unsplash.

Since then, I’ve noticed when I do the same thing as that young girl.

Take the time I went to the mall in late December 2021. It was absolutely packed with people. Bodies and noise everywhere.

Moving along with the crowd, I rounded a corner and nearly ran into a metal food court chair.

What in the world! Who put a chair right in the middle of the walkway?!

What an unintelligent thing to do. Did you not see all the people around?! Do you want someone to hurt themselves? Good grief.

“Sorry I doubted your intelligence and your intentions.
You were actually helping, not hurting.”

And then I saw the creamy, thick spill on the ground underneath the chair.

— Oh. —

Sorry I thought all those negative thoughts about you, oh person who was looking out for others.

Sorry I doubted your intelligence and your intentions. You were actually helping, not hurting.

I thought you were putting hazards in the way without a thought toward others.

In reality, you took action as a result of your kindness and care for others. You didn’t want someone to slip and hurt themselves so you grabbed the quickest thing you could to alert the masses.

Shame on me. I was wrong about you.

***

Here’s another example.

I’m in the office at the school where I substitute teach. The office manager says, “I need you to fill out some paperwork.”

I immediately think, “Uh oh. What went wrong? Is it a complaint form? Did a student or parent complain and I need to address the complaint?”

“What is it?” I ask.

“We just need some updated info so we can pay you.”

Ha! That was it.

“...we humans have gone insane with our doubt, negativity and fear.”

Why did I immediately think something was wrong?

The students actually really like me.

“She’s our nicest sub.”

“Miss Melinda is the best!”

These are actual student quotes.

I don’t mention these accolades to gloat. I’m driving home the point that we humans have gone insane with our doubt, negativity and fear.

I know the kids like me. So why did I fear? Why did I immediately wonder what went wrong and think the paperwork was a complaint when it was really a good thing to facilitate payment?

It’s that inclination toward doubt and fear rising up again.

***

One last mini example:

It’s bedtime and the kids are tucked away for the night. Or so I think.

Jon and I are decompressing in our own bed, happy to let go of parenting and unwind for the day.

But in comes JoJo.

* groan *

Ohhh….What! What now?! What do you need?!

I really don’t want to get up and tend to one more thing…

He comes to my side of the bed (because the kids always come to mom even when dad is right there).

* sigh *

Weary, I ask, “What do you need?”

“I love you,” he says. Then nuzzles his little face against me, stretching his arms out into a hug.

Oh. Oops. He just wanted to show love.

***

Since the day Caleb rescued that float, I’ve found myself stopping to consider my reactions to the events around me.

Am I unnecessarily leaning toward doubt, fear and negativity?

“There are countless opportunities for us to check ourselves and realize when we’re just like that gaggle of girls: jumping on the doubt and fear bandwagon when the better road would be to pause and assess before making a judgment call.”

Am I jumping to completely false conclusions?

***

Let me ask you, what’s your first impulse?

Are you giving people “the benefit of the doubt?”

Do you lean toward negativity rather than positivity?

Do you expect the worst rather than the best?

Surely, you never doubt the good intentions of others…right?

Throughout the day, there are countless opportunities for us to check ourselves and realize when we’re just like that gaggle of girls: jumping on the doubt and fear bandwagon when the better road would be to pause and assess before making a judgment call.

***

Thanks for spending a few moments with me. I’m glad we could reflect together.

Let’s not jump to conclusions. Let’s expect the best rather than the worst.

💛

If you enjoyed this story or it gave you good food for thought, consider adding a comment to let me know how it impacted you, big or small.