All You Gotta Do Is Ask
Indoor pool with lifeguard stand photographed on 4x5 Kodak 400NC film with a view camera. The University of North Texas, circa 2004.
It’s circa 2004 and my photo buddy, Ben, and I want to take some test photos by the indoor pool at the University of North Texas—but the pool area is locked and we can’t get in. So what do we do? We walk around until we find somebody we can ask who looks like they have the power to grant us access, that’s what we do.
At this point in life, Ben is more assertive and courageous than I am. He has no problem asking for whatever he wants and needs.
“Hey, mind if we take some photos by the pool? We’re not gonna get in the pool. We just wanna take some test shots.”
And just like that, we’re in.
Ben fires off a few tests and I set up my 4x5 view camera to get a shot of the lifeguard stand. It was calling to me with its bright orange floaties, white life ring, and all those straps and ropes flowing into an artsy heap on the pool deck.
I have a thing for vacant indoor pools. Particularly the ones at gyms and universities with their ample windows, vast indoor space, and colorful pennant flags strung overhead. These empty pools beckon me with their reflective waters.
* * *
If you’ve ever shot with a view camera, you’ll understand that it’s a far cry from popping off a bunch of pics with your phone. For those unfamiliar with view cameras, they’re big, heavy, boxy cameras with a bellows (think accordion shapes) where you view the scene on the back of the camera from underneath a dark, cape-like shroud (otherwise, you’ll have a hard time seeing what you’re shooting). A solid, sturdy tripod is a must.
Me (right) and my first 4x5 view camera.
The sheets of film are literally 4 inches by 5 inches and they’re loaded into the back of the camera, one by one, via a film holder. It’s a sequenced dance where everything needs to go off without a hitch because color film THAT BIG ain’t cheap, so you’d better get it right.
Everything is manual: metering the light, setting the shutter and aperture, focusing, making sure the dark slide is out of the film holder so the film can expose…
🤯 🤯 🤯
As for focal length, if you don’t like the camera-to-subject distance then you’ve gotta pick up the entire contraption and move it to the correct spot because you can't zoom with the lens.
Aaaand as if all that technical precision wasn’t enough to juggle, the image on the back of the view camera is UPSIDE DOWN and FLIPPED LEFT TO RIGHT from the way it looks in real life.😵💫
So now you’ve gotta train your brain to visualize the final scene and not get completely baffled by the wonky image on the back of the view camera.
* * *
So there I was:
Light metered ✅
Camera settings dialed in ✅
And I was preeetty sure I liked the composition—when the pool police walked in.
“Hey guys, you can’t be in here.”
Whaaa?...😮 “So-and-so told us we could be in here…”
It didn’t matter what so-and-so said. We needed to leave. Asap.
I had my shutter release cable attached to the view camera and everything was dialed in so I popped off one shot with the pool police hovering nearby. Then we packed up and left.
I would’ve taken another shot if I’d had the chance. Just in case. You know, for insurance. I truly had low hopes that the first shot was gonna work.
But when the film came back after processing…*happy sigh*
You guys. I was so pleased with the exposure and that the composition wasn’t off-kilter.
Miracle of miracles.
No cropping needed. It was perfect as is. One little moment. One shot. And this is what I got.
Circa 2004. University of North Texas. Indoor Pool with lifeguard stand.
See that little black streak at the top of the image? It’s my proud little way of saying, “This is how you prove it’s a large format negative and show how it was composed in camera.”
It’s one of my very favorite shots out of the thousands I’ve taken over the years. Mainly because of the story behind it and the lesson I learned that day: “All you gotta do is ask.”
The only reason I got the shot in the first place is because Ben had the courage to ask. Granted, we got kicked out a little while later, but the door was open just long enough to do some magic.
That day, Ben and I walked out of there with me marveling at the experience and high on life. I probably said something like, “Man, that was so cool! I hope that shot turns out. I love that we had the pool to ourselves for a bit. I can’t believe we got in!”
I distinctly remember Ben responding with, “Yep. All you gotta do is ask.”
It was such a simple idea. But as a young, 20-something girl in college, it was a novel idea for me.
Ben was right. All you gotta do is ask.
All I have to do is ask.
So what if they say no?
So what if they say yes…and then later say no and kick you out? 😆 🤷🏻♀️
But…what if they say yes right from the get-go and then keep saying yes?
One thing’s for sure: If you don’t ask, the answer is always no.
So ASK for the promotion, the raise, the meeting with the bigwig.
ASK for what you’re worth.
ASK for the relationship or the collaboration.
ASK for the listening ear and the words of encouragement.
ASK for what you need. ASK for help.
And ASK for the SPRINKLES. ON. TOP!
Whatever that THING is, ASK FOR IT.
You might have low hopes like I did that day I stood by the pool afraid to even ask for entry, wondering if anything was gonna turn out.
But ASK. It might become one of your very favorite pivotal moments. 😉
#encouragement #goforit #allyougottadoisask #photography #largeformatphotography #viewcamera #pool #storytelling
* * *
I wish I could find the final images that we test shot for. Ben is a very talented photographer and the images were beautiful. They were of me in the pool dressed like an Olympic swimmer. Swim cap, goggles and all. Lol. They were shot on color chromes and had this warm and vibrant look to them.
I am no Olympic swimmer...but I can play one for a photoshoot. 😝 🏊♀️ 💁🏻♀️
The only images I found were these...
Lol.
P.S.
So what if they say no? Listen, I’ve had plenty of people tell me no. Rejection hurts. I get it. Just recently, I had one too many no’s and was sprawled on the floor crying and telling Jon how sad and discouraged I was feeling.
Voicing my thoughts to a non-critical, non condemning person really helped and I felt much better after that.
But really, what if they say no? What damage is it really going to do? Most of the time, it’s not earth shattering. Usually, we’re just fearful of the outcome and we’re having a hard time taking the leap. In the end, your pride & ego might get bruised, but it’ll pass.
P.P.S. When Asking Backfires
I believe in this concept of "just asking" so much that I taught it to my boys because I
want them to be assertive and courageous. For instance, when Caleb was little he got a helium balloon for free at a bakery, but lost it to the wind in the parking lot. He cried and was too afraid to ask for another one. So his younger brother went inside, explained the situation, and asked for another one. Bingo. Problem solved. The employees gave us another balloon.
I was so proud of JoJo for having the courage to ask. And he was young too. Like 4 years old.
Buuuut. We were at Six Flags with some dear friends and family. Unbeknownst to me, my sons asked my friends to buy them toys from one of the retail shops. And the friend purchased the toys! 🤭
A family member was present and witnessed the entire thing. We'll call this family member "Bob."
Bob said, "Your kids came and asked me to buy them something and I said no! So they went over to [our dear friends], asked them and [the friends] bought them the toys! What mooches! Your kids are mooches!" 😆
Oops.
So then I had to explain to the kids that while it's okay to be courageous and ask for things. It's not okay to take advantage of people for your own selfish desires.
But they're kids. This kind of finessing is learned over time. They'll get it as they mature.
***
Also, I've gotten so much money back (usually from doctor's offices) just because I asked. And this is not me asking just because I want more money. It was me asking because I knew they were in the wrong and shouldn't have charged me. I've saved thousands because I went to bat for myself and my family.
It's super annoying to deal with medical offices and health insurance customer service though. I get it. The battle can go on for months. I got a medical bill for $752.00 once and I was like, "Nu-Uh. That should've been partially covered by insurance. Somebody screwed up and it WASN'T ME."
There was a looot of back and forth of me calling and explaining and asking for corrections on the bill. And then I got a notice that it was going to go to a collections agency...and I was like, "NO YOU DIDN'T. You're not gonna screw up my bill and then try to send me to a collections agency."
In the end, I WON, BABY.
That $752.00 became $64.10.
But I had to ask and fight for it.
Annnnd...then there are times when you DON'T ASK. You just do it and ask for forgiveness later, if needed.
But that's a story and a lesson for another time.
Life is full of nuance and balance and quick thinking. We have to know how to do certain things in certain situations...and then know NOT to do certain things in other situations.
Mercy. It's time to take a nap.
Goodbye. Lol.
